Pictures and Illustrations.
It is worthy of remark, that the three persons who make a principal inglorious figure in the following NARRATIVE, viz. Governor Hamilton, De Jeane and Le More, were afterwards taken by the brave Colonel CLARKE, of Virginia, at Fort St. Vincent, and are now confined in irons in a goal in Virginia (by order of the Legislature of that State) as a retaliation for their former inhuman treatment of prisoners, who fell into their hands, particularly Mr. DODGE, who has the pleasing consolation of viewing his savage adversaries in a similar predicament with himself when in their power — though it is not in the breast of generous AMERICANS to treat them with equal barbarity.
I SOMETIME since left the place of my nativity in Connecticut, and, in the year 1770, settled in Sandusky, an Indian village, about half way between Pittsburgh and Detroit, where I carried on a very beneficial trade with the natives, until the unhappy dispute between Great Britain and America reached those pathless wilds, and roused to war Savages no ways interested in it.
In July, 1775, Capt. James Woods called at my house in his way to the different Indian towns, where he was going to invite them, in the name of the Congress, to a treaty to be held at Fort Pitt, the ensuing fall; I attended him to their villages, and the Savages promised him they would be there. Capt. Woods also invited me to go with the Indians to the treaty, as they were in want of an interpreter, which I readily agreed to.
Soon after the departure of Capt. Woods,
6the commander of Fort-Detroit sent for the Savages in and about Sandusky, and told them that he heard they were invited by the Americans to a treaty at Pittsburgh, which they told him was true; on which he delivered them a talk to the following purport: "That he was their father, and as such he would advise them as his own children; that the Colonists who were to meet them at Pittsburgh were a bad people; that by the indulgence of their Protector, they had grown a numerous and saucy people; that the great King not thinking they would have the assurance to oppose his just laws, had kept but few troops in America for some years past; that those men being ignorant of the incapacity to go through with what they intend, propose to cut off the few regulars in this country, and then you Indians, and have all America to themselves; and all they want is, under the shew of friendship, to get you into their hands as hostages, and there hold you, until your nations shall comply with their terms, which if they refuse, you will be all massacred. Therefore do not go by any means; but if you will join me, and keep them at bay a little while, the King, our father, will send large fleets
7and armies to our assistance, and we will soon subdue them, and have their plantations to ourselves."
This talk so dismayed the Indians, that they came to me and said they would not go to the treaty, at the same time telling me what the Governor of Detroit had said to them. On this Mr. James Heron and myself having the cause of our country at heart, asserted that what the Governor had said was false, and told them that the Colonists would not hurt a hair of their heads, and if they would go to the treaty, that I, with Mr. Heron, would be security, and pledge our property, to the amount of four thousand pounds, for their safe return. This, with the arrival of Mr. Butler with fresh invitations, induced some of them to go with me to the treaty.
In the fall I attended a number of them to the treaty, where we were politely received by the Commissioners sent by Congress. The council commenced; the Indians, who are always fond of fishing in troubled water, offered their assistance, which was refused, with a request that they would remain in peace, and not take up the hatchet on either side. On the whole, these Indians
8were well pleased with the talk from the Congress, and promised to remain quiet.
The commissioners thinking it proper, sent the Continental belt and talk by some of the Chiefs to the Savages who resided about the lakes. These Chiefs being obliged to pass Sandusky, in their rout, Mr. John Gibson, Agent for Indian affairs requested me to accompany them, and furnish them with what they stood in need of; on which I took them home.
On my arrival at the village I found the Savages in confusion, and preparing for war, on which I called a Council and rehearsed the Continental talk, which, with a present of goods to the amount of twenty five pounds, quieted them. This I informed Congress of, agreable to their request, by express, and that the Governor of Detroit was still urging the Indians to war. Soon after this, a party of Savages from the neighborhood of the lakes, came to my house on their way to the frontiers to strike a blow: I asked them the reason they took up the hatchet? They replied, that the Governor of Detroit had told them, that the Americans were going
9to murder them all and take their lands; but if they would join him, they would be able to drive them off, and that he would give them twenty dollars a scalp. On this I rehearsed the Continental talk, and making them a small present they returned home, believing as I had told them, that the Governor was a liar and meant to deceive them.
On this I thought proper to write the Governor of Detroit, what he was to expect should he continue to persuade the Indians to take up the hatchet. He was so enraged at the receipt of this letter, that he offered one hundred pounds for my scalp or body, he sent out several parties to take me without effect, until having spread an evil report of me among the Indians, on the fifteenth of January, 1776, my house was surrounded by about twenty soldiers and savages, who broke into the house, made me a prisoner, and then marched me for Detroit.
It was about the dusk of the evening, when, after a fatiguing march, I arrived at Detroit, and was carried before Henry Hamilton, late a Captain in the fifteenth regiment, but now Governor and Commandant
10of Detroit, he ordered me to close confinement, telling me to spend that night in making my peace with God, as it was the last night I should live; I was then hurried to a loathsome dungeon, ironed and thrown in with three criminals, being allowed neither bedding, straw or fire, although it was in the depth of winter, and so exceeding cold, that my toes were froze before morning.
About ten o'clock the next morning, I was taken out and carried before the Governor, who produced a number of letters with my name signed to them, and asked me if they were my hand writing? To which I replied they were not. He then said, it was a matter of indifference to him whether I owned it or not, as he understood that I had been carrying on a correspondence with Congress, taking the Savages to their treaties, and preventing their taking up the hatchet in favor of his Majesty, to defend his crown and dignity; that I was a rebel and a traitor, and he would hang me. I asked him whether he intended to try me by the civil or military law, or give me any trial at all? To which he replied, that he was not obliged to give any damn'd rebel a trial unless he
11thought proper, and that he would hang every one he caught, and that he would begin with me first. I told him if he took my life, to beware of the consequence, as he might depend on it that it would be looked into. What, says he, do you threaten me you damn'd rebel? I will soon alter your tone, here take the damn'd rebel to the dungeon again, and let him pray to God to have mercy on his soul, for I will soon fix his body between heaven and earth and every scoundrel like him.
I was then redelivered to the hands of Philip De Jeane, who acted in the capacity of judge, sheriff and jailor, and carried back to my dungeon, where I was soon waited on by the Missionary to read prayers with me; but it was so extremely cold, he could not stand it but a few minutes at a time. In conversation with him, I told him I thought it was hard to lose my life without a trial, and as I was innocent of the charge alledged against me. He said it was very true, but that the Governor had charged him not to give me the least hopes of life, as he would absolutely hang me.
I remained in this dismal situation three days, when De Jeane came and
12took out one of the criminals who was in the dungeon with me, and held a short conference with him, then came and told me, the Governor had sent him to tell me to prepare for another world, as I had not long to live, and then withdrew. I enquired of the criminal, who was a Frenchman, what De Jeane wanted with him? But he would not tell me.
The evening following he told his brother in distress that De Jeane had offered him twenty pounds to hang Mr. Dodge (meaning me) but that he had refused unless he had his liberty; De Jean then said, that we should both be shot under the gallows.
Being at last drove almost to despair, I told De Jeane to inform the Governor I was readier to die at that time than I should ever be, and that I would much rather under go his sentence, than be tortured in the dreadful manner I then was. He returned for answer, that I need not hurry them, but prepare myself, as I should not know my time until half an hour before I was turned off.
Thus did I languish on in my dungeon, without a friend being allowed to visit me,
13denied the necessaries of life, and must have perished with the cold, it being in the depth of winter, had not my fellow prisoners spared me a blanket from their scanty stock. Thus denied the least comfort in life, together with the unjust and savage threatening I received every day, brought me so very low, that my inability to answer De Jeane's unreasonable questions, with which he daily tormented me respecting innocent men, obliged him to notice my situation, and no doubt thinking I should die in their hands, they thought proper to remove me to the barracks, and ordered a Doctor to attend me. The weather had been so extreme cold, and my legs had been bolted in such a manner, that they were so benumbed, and the sinews contracted, that I had not the least use of them; and the severity of my usage had brought on a fever, which had nigh saved them any further trouble.
After I had lain some time ill, and my recovery was despaired of, De Jeane called and told me that the Governor had altered his mind with respect to executing me, and bid me be of good cheer, as he believed the Governor would give me my liberty when I got better; I replied it was a matter of indifference to me whether he
14gave me my liberty of not, as I had much rather die than remain at their mercy: On which he said, "You may die and be damn'd," and bounced out of the room.
When I had so far recovered as to be able to set up in bed, my nurse being afraid I should inform her husband of her tricks in his absence, told the Governor that I was a going to make my escape with a party of soldiers, that I was well and could walk as well as she could, though at the time my legs were still so cramped and benumbed with the irons and cold, that had kingdoms been at stake I could not walk.
On this information, De Jeane came and told me to get up and walk to the dungeon from whence I came. I told him I was unable: "Crawl then you damn'd rebel, or I will make you." I told him he might do as he pleased, but I could not stand much more walk: On this he called a party of soldiers, who tossed me into a cart and carried me to the dungeon: Here, by the persuasion of the Doctor, who was very kind and attentive, I was allowed a bed and not ironed. By his care and the weather growing milder, I got rid of my fever and began to walk about my dungeon,
15which was only eight feet square; but even this was a pleasure too great for me to enjoy long, for in a few days I was put into irons. The weather now growing warm and the place offensive, from the filth of the poor fellows I had left there, and who were afterwards executed, I relapsed. By persuasion of the Doctor who told them unless I had air I should die, a hole about seven inches square was cut to let in some air.
I remained ill until June, although the Doctor had done all that lay in his power; he then let the Governor know, that it was impossible for me to recover unless I was removed from the dungeon, on which he sent De Jeane to inform me, if I would give security for my good behavior, that he would let me out of prison. Being by my usage and fever, reduced to a state or despondence, I told him that it was a matter of indifference what he did with me, and that his absence was better than his company: He then published it abroad, and several gentlemen voluntarily entered into two thousand pounds security for me, and I once more was allowed to breath the fresh air, after six months confinement in a loathsome dungeon, except eight or nine weeks that I lay sick at the barracks.
On my going abroad, I learned that all the property I left in the woods; to the amount of fifteen or sixteen hundred pounds; was taken in the King's name, and divided among the Indians. As I had but little to attend to but the recovery of my health, I mended apace. As soon as I could walk abroad, Governor Hamilton sent for me and said, he was sorry for my misfortunes, and hoped I would think as little as possible of them; that I was in a low state, he thought I had best not think of business, or think of what I had left, as he would lend me a hand to recover my losses. This smooth discourse gave me but little satisfaction for the ill usage I had received at his hands; however, I was determined to rest as easy as I could, until I had an opportunity of obtaining redress.
As soon as I found myself so far recovered as to be able to do business, which was in September, I applied to the Governor to go down the country, but he put me off with fine words, a permission to do business there, and a promise of his assistance. I now settled my accounts with the persons with whom I was connected in trade, and found myself seven hundred pounds in debt. My credit being pretty good, I set up a
17retail store, and as many of the inhabitants pitied my case, they all seeming willing to spend their money with me. My being master of the different Indian languages about Detroit, was also of service to me, so that in a short time I paid off all my debts, and began to add to my stock.
In the spring of 1777 I heard there was like to be a good trade at Machilimakanac, on which I applied to the Governor, and with a great deal of trouble got a pass, went and met with good trade. On my return Governor Hamilton by several low arts attempted to pick my cargo, which as it would spoil the sale of the remainder, I could not allow. As he had no pretence for taking them from me by force, it once more provoked him to wrath against me; he greatly retarded my sales by denying me a permit to draw my powder out of the magazine; also ordered myself and two servants to be ready at a moment's warning to march under Capt. Le Mote on a scouting party with Savages: I told him it was against my inclination to take up arms against my own flesh and blood, and much more so to go with Savages to butcher and scalp defenceless women and children, that were not interested in the present dispute: He said it was not any of my business whether they were interested in the dispute or not; and added if you are
18not ready when called for, I will fix you. Lucky for me he was soon after called down the country, and succeded by Capt. Montpresent as Commander, who ordered Le Mote to strike my name out of his books; but my servants with their pay, I lost entirely.
The party of Savages under Le Mote went out with orders not to spare man, woman, or child. To this cruel mandate even some of the Savages made an objection, respecting the butchering women and children, but they were told the children would make soldiers, and the women would keep up the stock. — Those sons of Britain offered no reward for prisoners, but they gave the Indians twenty dollars a scalp, by which means they induced the Savages to make the poor inhabitants, who they had torn from their peaceable homes, carry their baggage until within a short distance of the fort, where in cold blood, they murdered them, and delivered their green scalps in a few hours after to those British Barbarians, who on the first yell of the Savages, flew to meet and hug them to their breasts reeking with the blood of innocence, and shewed them every mark of joy and approbation, by firing of cannon, &c.
One of these parties returning with a number of women and children's scalps, and three prisoners, they were met by the Commander
19of the fort, and after usual demonstrations of joy delivered their scalps, for which they were paid; they Indians then made the Commandant a present of two of the prisoners, reserving the third as a sacrifice to the manes of one of them that had fell in the expedition. Being shocked at the idea of one of my fellow creatures being tortured and burnt alive by those inhuman Savages, I sought out the Indian who had lost his relative, and to whom, according to the Indian custom, this unhappy man belonged: I found him, took him home with me, and by the assistance of some of my friends and twenty five pounds worth of goods I persuaded the inhuman wretch to sell his life to me. As the rest of the gang had taken the prisoner about two leagues distance, and were making merry over him, we were obliged to lay a scheme to deliver him from their hands, which we did in the following manner, it being midnight and very dark, the Indian, myself and two servants, crossed the river in a batteaux to where they were carousing around this unhappy victim. The Indian then went to his companion, and under a pretence of taking the prisoner out to answer a call of nature, delivered him to me, who lay at some distance, and I carried him to the batteaux. As soon as he found himself in the hands of his deliverer, his transport was too great for his tender frame; three different
20times he sunk lifeless in my arms, and as often by the help of water, the only remedy at hand, I prevented his going to the land of spirits in a transport of joy. None but those who have experienced it, can have an idea of the thoughts that must have agitated the breast of a man, who but a few minutes before saw himself surrounded by Savages, whose dismal yell, and frightful figures, heightened by the glare of a large fire in a dismal wood, which must have harrowed up the foul of an uninterested bystander, much more one who knew that very fire was prepared for his execution, and that every moment the executioner was expected to arrive. — The executioner arrives; he advances towards him; he losens this unhappy victim from the tree to which he was bound, no doubt as this young man imagined to be led to the stake; but as it were in an instant, he finds himself in the hands of his deliverer and fellow countryman. This, as I said before was too much for him to bear; however I got his almost lifeless corpse to my house, where I kept him hid. The Indian, according to our agreement in an hour or two after I was gone, returned seemingly much fatigued, and told his fellow Savages who were impatiently waiting to begin their brutal sacrifice, that the prisoner had escaped, and that he had in vain pursued him. Some time after this I found an opportunity
21and made an agreement with the Captain of a vessel going to Michilimakanac, to take my unhappy inmate with him, but one of my servants being tempted, by a large reward that was offered for retaking the above prisoner, informed De Jeane, that he was hid in my house on which my habitation was soon surrounded by a party of soldiers under the command of said De Jeane, and myself, the young man and four servants were made prisoners, and having demanded my keys, which I delivered, we were hurried to goal and confined in different rooms. Here this unhappy young fellow, in high expectations of seeing his friends, was once more plunged into the horrors of imprisonment.
I was sent for an carried before the Commandant, where, on being examined who was the person in my house, I frankly told him it was a young man whom I had bought of the Indians when they were going to burn him, and that I meant to send him to Canada to be out of the way of the Savages, but De Jeane, like other men of bad principles, thinking no man could do a good action without sinister views, said that he believed I had purchased him to serve my own ends, and that he would find them out, which the Commandant ordered him to do as soon as possible, and I was ordered to prison.
De Jeane then took my servant, who was his informant, ironed him, put him in the dungeon, and after keeping him three days on bread and water, the lad almost frightened out of his senses, sent for De Jeane, and told him that the day before I was taken up I had wrote several letters, and on his bringing a candle to seal them, that I said, if he told any one that I was writing to Pitsburg, that I would blow his brains out. This suiting De Jeane's purpose, he made the lad swear to it, and then set him with the rest of my servants at liberty.
I was now once more called before the Commandant, who told me he understood I
23was going to send an express to his Majesty's enemies, in consequence of which he had taken an inventory of my effects, and meant to send me to Canada. I told him he was misinformed: He then taxes me with what De Jeane had forced from my servant; asked me where I was writing the day before I was taken? I told him to my correspondents in Montreal; and luckily for me a neighbor of mine, having been at my house, was produced, who declared the truth of what I said, and that I being hurried, had given him the letters to carry on board the vessel: This with some other false accusations being cleared up, I was once more released on giving fresh security.
Though myself and servants were, for want of a pretence for detaining us, set at liberty, it was not so with the unfortunate young man whom I had purchased from the Indian; he still remained in prison, daily tormented by the threats of De Jeane, that he would deliver him to the Indians, which so preyed on his spirits, that in a short time it threw him into a fever. I then applied to Capt. Montpresent, the Commandant, who gave me permission, and I removed him to sick quarters, where I hired Jacob Pue, of Virginia, his fellow prisoner, to attend him:
24I also, when leisure would permit, attended him myself; but De Jeane, who still haunted him, had so great an effect on him, that one day when I visited him; he called me to his bedside and said to me, that De Jeane had just left him, that he told him to make haste and get well, as the Indians were waiting for him. Pray Sir, (said the young man to De Jeane) for God's sake try to keep me from the Indians, for if they get me they will burn me. Keep you from them, said De Jeane, you damn'd rebel you deserve to be burned, and all your damn'd countrymen with you, so you need not think Dodge can save you; General Hamilton is now come up, and he will fix you all. I tried to comfort him, and told him to be of good courage: Oh! replied he, I am almost distracted with the idea of being burnt by the Savages; I had much rather die where I am, than be delivered into the hands of those horrid wretches, from whom I so lately by your hands escaped, the recollection of which, makes me shudder with horror. He could say no more; he sunk under it, and in a few hours after, death, more kind than his cruel tormentors, released him from his troubles. I paid the last tribute to this my unhappy Countryman, and had his corpse decently interred, attended by the Missionary and most of the principal Merchants of the town.
As Hamilton was arrived, I had every thing to expect that his malice could invent, more especially as De Jeane, to whom his ear was always open, had told him (as I was informed) all and more than what had happened during his absence. About a month after the death of the unhappy young man above related, I had occasion for some of my powder out of the magazine: I wrote an order to the conductor, according to custom, and waited on the Governor to have it signed; on presenting it to him, he looked at it, and then looked at me with a sarcastic smile said, It is powder you
26want, you damn'd rascal is it? At the same time tearing my order and throwing it in my face: You have behaved yourself very well, have you not? After my granting you your life, you would not go with Le Mote, would you not? says he and starting up in a great passion as though he would strike me, put himself between me and the door. What, says he, you have a damn'd deal of influence with the Indians; you can purchase prisoners without my approbation can you? You damn'd rascal. Sir, said I, I am no rascal; not a word out of your mouth, says Hamilton, go about your business and take care of me or I will fix you: I replied it had always been my study to take care of him; not a word, says he, go about your business, and bless your stars I was not here instead of Capt. Montpresent, for I would have fixed you, you damn'd scoundrel. Here I took my leave, went home, and determined to think as little of Mr. Hamilton and his usage as possible, until I had an opportunity of getting redress.
Notwithstanding the hatred of Hamilton and De Jeane, I spent the forepart of the winter very happily, until the 25th of Jan. 1778, when several Merchants of the town got permission to go to Sandusky to trade, and as they
27proposed encamping about two leagues from the town, myself and several others in a friendly manner, proposed and did accompany them in our sleighs to their first stage; but on our return, I being a head, was challenged by De Jeane, at the head of thirty or forty soldiers, by asking who came there? To which I replied, John Dodge; he then ordered the soldiers to seize me and the two gentlemen in the sleigh with me, and forced us to return to the encampment we had just left, where he seized the whole of the gentlemen who were going by permission to Sandusky, with their goods, sleighs, &c. and carried the whole of us the next morning back to the fort, and charged us with sending out goods to supply (as he politely termed it) the rebels.
After being detained three days in prison I was taken to De Jeane's house to see my papers, books, desk, &c. examined. They broke open my desk, pretending to have lost the key. On searching, they could not find any thing worth their notice, or what they expected to find. De Jeane then gave me my keys, and told me to send for my desk and take care of myself as he would watch me; I told him, as he had taken it from my house and broke it, he should mend it and send it
28home before I would receive it; Stop a little said he, I will speak to the Governor and fix you yet if I can; he then gave me into the care of the guard, and ordered me to goal. About the fifth day after this, not hearing anything from him, I sent for my violin, and was diverting myself, when Governor Hamilton passed by, and inquired who was playing on the violin, to which the Corporal of the guard answered it was me. The next day De Jeane waited on me with a Blacksmith, who soon clapped on a pair of hand-bolts; and now, says De Jeane, I have fixed you, you may play the violin until you are tired; I asked him what I had done to be treated thus; for that you must apply to the Governor said he, for it is his pleasure that you are so: He then threatened to put on my leg bolts; on which I told him I did not value his irons, but if he kept me prisoner, I should look to him for my property (about 3000 l.) Yes, says he, we will fix you and your property too, and then left me. About six days after, I was taken to my own house, where two English and two Frenchmen, by order of the Governor, took an inventory of my goods, and soon after sold the whole at vendue, for about 1900 l. New York currency. Thus being a second time robbed of my property, I lay a prisoner
29as contented as possible, without any thing material happening until the first of May.
On the first of May, 1778, I was put on board a vessel to go down to Quebec, and by some of my friends furnished with provision and necessaries for the voyage; but of these I was robbed by De Jeane, and had it not been for some gentlemen, passengers in the same vessel, I must have suffered with hunger. On the first of June I arrived at Quebec, where I was conducted to Mr. Printices the Provost Marshal: Ha, ha, says he, Mr. Dodge, are you here? I have often been told you were a damn'd rascal, doing all you could against government; it is a pity Governor Hamilton did not hang you when he was about it, as he would have saved government a great deal of trouble. From hence I was conducted on board the prison ship Mariah, with a number of Farmers, taken off their plantations by the Savages.
Two days after I was put on board the prison ship, we were visited by Mr. Murray, Commissary of Prisoners, to whom I gave an account of my capture and ill usage; he told me, he would speak to the General, and give me an answer. Two days after, he came on board, and told me, as it was very difficult
30times, I could not have a hearing at present; I told him I wanted nothing but what the English constitution allowed, and if I could not get that in Quebec, I would apply to England; to which he replied, I had better be easy, for if I did not, he would put me in irons again.
I remained on board the prison ship until the begining of August, when Mr. Murray came on board, and informed me that I was not to go with the prisoners; but if I would give my parole, I should be allowed the liberty of Quebec. I asked him the occasion I could not be sent with the other prisoners; he replied it was the Governor's orders: I asked him if I was to be allowed any support; he said, not any. I told him it was very hard to be dragged from my house, robbed of my property, deprived of my liberty, sent 1200 miles in irons, and still be held a prisoner in the town of Quebec, without any allowance for support: All my applications were in vain, I was set on those under parole the fourth of August, and the ship sailed with the other prisoners soon after.
The cause of my detention, as I was afterwards told by Mr. Murray, was, that Governor Hamilton, of Detroit, had wrote the General not to send me round with the other prisoners; for if I got into the United States, he knew I would come immediately upon him, and as I knew the country, was well acquainted with the languages of the different Indians about the lakes, and had great influence among them, should be the means of their losing the fort, which would be much against the crown.
On my enlargement, I soon got acquainted with a number of gentlemen, who were friends to the United States, and the cause in which they were engaged. Some days after, going on shore, I fell in company with a Mr. Jones, who happened at that time to be reading a letter sent by General Montgomery, while he lay before Quebec, to Gov. Carlton, and on concluding it, said he hoped General Montgomery was in hell, and that all the rebels would soon be with him; to this I made a reply, words ensued, and then blows; he drew on me, but I parried his thrust with my cane, so that I only got a small wound on my knee: He then made a complaint, and I was sent for by the General, who threatened to put me in confinement if I did not find security; this I soon found, and bonds were given for me for two months; at the
32end of which, as they neglected renewing them, and left me without parole or security, I hired an Indian guide, and on the ninth of October quitted Quebec. After a fatiguing march through the woods, on the 20th of Nov. I arrived at Boston, where I was kindly received and politely treated by General Gates, who supplied my wants and forwarded me to his Excellency General Washington; I waited on him, was politely received, and sent on to Congress, having some matters relating to Canada, worthy of their hearing.
Had the love of my country no ways prompted me to act against the tyranny of Britain, I leave it to the world to judge, whether I have not a right to revolt from under the dominion of such tyrants, and exert every faculty God has given me to feel satisfaction for the ill usage I received; that if I had ten thousand lives, and was sure to lose them all, I think should I not attempt to gain satisfaction, I should deserve to be a slave the remainder of my life.